


'What is this...' (crack-post chapter)

by Rabbit (Majorminor2242)



Series: ✨My HTTYD/My Hero Academia Crossovers!💥 [2]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Quirks (My Hero Academia), Dimension Travel, Dragon Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Dragon Quirk (My Hero Academia), Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Toothless Friendship, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Toothless Share a Body, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and Dragons, Hiccup and Toothless Attend U.A. High School, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Midoriya Izuku Has One for All Quirk, Sexual Humor, Sharing a Body, Teen Hiccup Horrendous Haddock lll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majorminor2242/pseuds/Rabbit
Summary: This was originally meant for my main story 'How To Train Your Draconic Hero', entirely created to be a hilarious, semi-realistic situation of what would really happen the first time they went to the loo -however I think adding this chapter would sadly require I bump up the age rating on the story which I don't want to do.Skip this 'behind-the-scenes crack/humour chapter' if you don't want Toothless to scar you for life teaching you the basics to 'Drakes and the Dragonesses'. XDTo be honest, I just imagined how I would react in this situation and took it from there in Hiccup's position so I hope this filler chapter provides some comedic value as that's all I intended it to be for when writing it.Enjoy :3
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Toothless
Series: ✨My HTTYD/My Hero Academia Crossovers!💥 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194494





	'What is this...' (crack-post chapter)

Hiccup had only just pulled his underwear down in desperate need of a piss despite still being in their hybrid form, when he promptly stopped and stared at the truly unexpected result of their joint form's genetic make-up. He could never have prepared for what he saw.

'Toothless... _What the fuck is this.'_

 _:: Gee,_ I don't know Hicc. _What do you **think** it is? I'll give you three guesses. :: _the snarky, amused response slapped Hiccup in the face (metaphorically), causing him to growl in annoyance.

'You have _got_ to be kidding me.'

_:: Honestly, I don't see the big deal. ::_

'Toothless. Why is it _like that?_ What the hell makes humans and dragons so different in their biology in order for _this_ to happen?!'

 _:: It's literally just a dick, Hicc. I still don't get why you're treating it like some catastrophic nightmare or monumental revelation... ::_ Hiccup wanted to tug his hair out at the bemused, sardonic tone Toothless was using.

'You- are you kidding me? Really? Really. _Really?!_ So you are telling me, with a blank and serious face, that all dragons... _look_ like that.'

_:: **Yes.** Should I be taking offence at the tone you're using? ::_

'But... _why._ Just _why?'_

 _:: Why_ what _? That's just how it is. ::_ the dragon shrugged nonchalantly from within the boy's mind, translating through as a shrug in the wings on Hiccup's back which made him frown deadpan.

'...It's bright, raw _pink.'_

_... :: Yes- ::_

_'-And it is ribbed.'_

_:: And?- ::_

_'Oh for Odin's sake it has a **knot!** _That's not normal, Toothless! Especially not to _humans!'_

 _:: Pffft- I think you mean 'it's... **KNOT** normal...?' :: _Toothless snorted at the play-on-words, which took a moment for Hiccup to work out but instantly brought shame to his face and disappointment in his best friend.

'Are you serious?! Stop laughing at that, you stupid reptile! You have no idea just how disappointed I am in you right now for that.'

...

'...No but seriously, like, just _whyyyy_ is the tip flared like that?' that seemed to be the last comment made before Toothless sighed in exasperation and flatly banged his head against the confines of their white mental space, groaning.

_:: Why. Why do I have to put up with this? Of all the people to share a body with, it just had to be the boy who's curious about the universe and can't stop asking questions to save his own life. Is it really so hard to just accept things sometimes? Things that are out of your control? ::_

_'Wha- but-'_

_:: It looks like that because we are currently in this hybrid form and sharing redeeming qualities from each of our biologies. I am a dragon, a creature that is far less.... 'civilised' and domesticated than humans are. You seriously wanna know why it looks like that? ::_ he led off his speech with a bored undertone, clearly wanting this conversation to end already. All he received was a slow nod, but Toothless could only sigh in irritation. _:: You're going to regret this._ -And so am I once you start screaming for me to shut up and erase your memories. _::_

'Oh don't be so dramatic, Toothless. You're just trying to derail an explanation that is rather needed right now to explain _what the hell is wrong with our body.'_

 _:: Urgh,_ fine **.** _May you live to regret this and suffer in torment. -The reason it looks so different is because whilst I don't completely know how humans 'do it', dragons have mating cycles annually and weigh up to several **tonnes.** We therefore do not have the _access _nor_ ability _to support ourselves in the manner that humans could, and the male has to penetrate from behind and above the female, thus needing the flared tip and ribs. We have sheathes, unlike you, to conceal and protect our parts, which of course means we don't need skin to cover it like you, leading to its pink colour, and finally the knot is needed because as I said before, we are more animalistic in nature, and a common theme between mammals is a knot to ensure that nothing leaks before pregnancy can occur._

 _There. I hope you are happy now having forced the most awkward topic on Midgard upon your best friend of another species in order to explain to your 'innocent, curious mind' the Birds and the Dragons. ::_ Toothless didn't even register the innate, insufferable screeching emitting from the flustered, fish-mouthed boy as he yawned and lay down within their mind-space, heating up a circle beneath him and promptly covering his head to block out all senses of the perpetual slaughter to his ears.

_But at least that should teach Hiccup to consider far more carefully where he lets his curiosity guide him, lest another scarring situation happen again._

_... :: **Mine's still bigger though.** :: _and in that one moment, even with his eyes closed Toothless adopted a cheshire grin and snorted at the barrage of half-baked insults that were thrown his way.


End file.
